You must always start with you. Judge yourself only as to a true best version of you. Are you needy of others? Angered? Intimidated? Do you really care about the one who drives you insane? It's all self-torture. Say whatever you wish. You must get yourself straight in meditation. Once you have balance, this adds extrasensory perception of other humans and their motivations or shortfalls. Love and compassion for them and their torture are more visible as a point of reconciliation for you.